Golden Darkness 2/?
chunnie yoochun
“You want what?”

He sighed. It had been hard for him to see the girl come in. It was better now that it was dark, because he didn't have to see the hopefulness in her eyes. They were like that at first, but after a while they all became sobbing things.
She would too. He'd seen them come and go for a long time.

“I want to die. I want to leave this place, but you can't escape. So I want to die.”

She was shocked, obviously.

“I'm sorry”, he said again.

She stayed silent.
He knew what she was thinking, had he too thought the same thoughts.

“If you survive the first week, they'll keep you. Keep you alive, that is.”

“You know, you're the first from elsewhere.”

“Really?” Her voice was interested, distracted from her misery.

“The others were all from here.”

“Wait... if we're in Korea, you speak korean?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“So, how come you speak English?”

He had, against all odds, to smile.

“There was this one girl, Yunhye, that stayed, at first. She was stronger than the others. When we were alone, she'd teach me English to pass the time.”


“But other than that, I did have English in school.”

They laughed together, it felt good. And it felt alien in this dark place.

“Please”, he said, “try to stay, okay? You seem too nice to go.”

Before she could answer, the door opened with a creak.

The two men had led her through a lot of hallways. They were blank at first, but after they'd climbed some stairs, they'd become luxurious, hung with paintings and photos and decorated with tapestries.

They hadn't bothered putting on another mask or binding her. It would have been ridiculous. They were two big muscled men, both with shaved heads and dressed in black. Vicky walked in the middle. Somehow she felt out of place with her purple shirt and white skirt. Her sandals seemed too small next to the big, black boots.

Although her heart was hammering, she tried not to show it. Whatever was coming, she wouldn't show what she was feeling.

Then there was a big door. It was golden and had white ornaments that formed some kind of shape.

But before she could see what it was, the men opened the door.

The room was big and golden. Gold seemed to be important. There were tables, dark brown ones with gold and chairs in the same color. Armchairs, sofas, coffee tables, carpets, paintings. All in some kind of gold. The place reeked gold. There were also people.

All black haired, they wore almost all black. They sat on chairs or sofas or stood in pairs, some with drinks. There were two, though that stood out. Her two guards pushed her in their direction.
It was a man, also black haired, but wearing a neat white suit, almost as if he was trying to stand out. Next to him stood another man, clothed in shirt and jeans. That man, clearly korean, stood out the most.

Though, as she came closer she could see that the shirt was new and the jeans seemed to be worn for the first time. The second man was also a lot younger than the first, not much older than twenty while the first, in white, seemed to Vicky at least 40, if not older.

Both looked up as they approached.

The first man, Mr White as she dubbed him then, looked satisfied and scrutinized her from head to toe.

The second, Mr Young, Vicky thought was fitting, seemed even more scared than she was and only looked her in the eyes. His look seemed to tell her “Go away from here!” But she couldn't.
As they'd reach the pair, she could see Mr White retreat his hand from Young's behind. Vicky's eyes widened in horror. She looked up to Mr Young, who returned her glare for a short moment, the looked down.

“Ah, my new little toy arrived. I've been looking forward to this one, they said she didn't even give up a real fight.”

He laughed. Then the rest of the hall joined in. Except for the Mr Young, who was staring down on the floor.

She felt her head go red. This was the first time someone laughed openly about her. She could handle if they laughed behind her back, but in her face?

“Oh, well. We'll see, after all, it's like an import. And you never know what they do in America, right?”

Import? She wanted to tell this man that she was a human, but she didn't dare. She wouldn't be able to take it of they laughed at her again.

“Well, she seems well build. Hm... Okay, Mr Kim here will show you your quarters.

Mr Young, who's name seemed to be Mr Kim, took her hand hand pulled her through the crowd of men. It was in that moment that she realized that there were only men, except for her.

They left the hall through another door. The hallways looked the same as before.

“Wait”, Vicky panted, “please, slow down, I can't anymore, my knees still hurt.”

The pull of his hand on her arm stopped abruptly and Mr Kim turned around.

His eyes pierced through hers with a coldness she didn't expect.

“Please, Miss Piggy, should I carry you on my arms? So maybe, one day, we'll arrive at our destination?” His sarcastic tone cut through the air like a knife through butter.

She looked back, stunned, too surprised by the verbal attack as to react. Mr Kim turned around and continued pulling her. After a minute of pulling, taking corners and the continued pressure on her joint, they stopped in front of a door.

Without waiting he opened it. Behind lay a large bedroom. A big bed occupied the center. It was all white, even the sheets. The rest of the room was furnished with mostly white chairs, dresser, sofas and there was a wardrobe door in the wall.

Mr Kim stopped pulling her. He closed the door while she inspected the room.

“Okay, we're alone for some moments”, he said softly.

“Wait, what? But we were alone...”

“Cameras” he said.


“But there aren't any here. Well, in the room, yes, but not here. At this spot.”

Vicky couldn't say a word. But in her surprise she noticed how close she was suddenly to him. She could make out every feature of his face. His big eyes were dark, his nose slightly too big and a bit flat, his lips seemed perfect. In synch with his hair, dark brown, covering his forehead, he was pretty attractive.

“Are you alright? Do your knees hurt?” He looked worried and Vicky noticed that she had been staring at him all along.

“Ehm, no, I mean yes. Well, they do hurt, a bit but it's nothing. But... why are we here? He said “my quarters.”

The gentleness that had graced his features until then disappeared.

“I'm sorry”, he said.

“Why do you say that? Why does everyone say “I'm sorry”? What is going on?”

A loud beep came from the ceiling.

“I'm sorry, but they are waiting now. Come.” He pulled her again, but gently this time.

He sat down on the bed and pulled her next to him. She stared, confused.

Until it came to her. Then, panic. This isn't real, she thought.

Then he kissed her. She fought, wanted to get away from him, but the grip of his hand around her neck was like steal.

The kiss was long. And it was her first, too.

When he stopped, she'd given up fighting. She was too smart, now that she knew, as to fight it any longer. She knew that it would happen. She would never escape, there was only hallway after hallway. So many men.

And this one at least looked good.

“I'm sorry”, he whispered again.

The he pushed her down on the mattress, kissing her neck, throat slowly. But not softly.
She shut her eyes. The white hurt them. White, that is supposed to be good. She trembled, but he continued.

His hands felt her waist, her ass, her legs and climbed again, this time to her chest. Tears formed in he eyes as he pinched her nipples. In a short motion, he ripped her shirt in two.
She opened her eyes again.

“Please”, she begged, still hoping.

His face was blank as he continued undressing her. She closed her eyes again.

The rest she only remembered as a rush of hands on her, lips biting and clothes being ripped of.

Then she was lying naked on the white bed.

When he entered her, she wasn't prepared. She had tried to prepare herself for it, but it hadn't work.

It hurt.

But she kept still and cried silent tears as he took her virginity.

Golden Darkness 1/?
chunnie yoochun
The moment they grabbed her arm would always be engraved into her memory. The surprise, sudden fear, adrenalin rushing through her veins made this moment unforgettable. All the thoughts that ran though her mind that single second: What was happening? Who is this? What do they want from me? What are they going to do to me? How can I get out? Is there help? The memory would only be of emotions and thoughts, she couldn't remember anything she saw at that moment. The next she was pressed against somebody's chest and a cloth was pressed against her mouth and nose.
Oh no, were her last thoughts before she passed out.

It were the steady bumps on the route that woke her up.

“Ouch”, she said.

Her head hurt. She was lying on the floor of something... something that moved. A car? No, too big. A van, then. So, she was lying on the ground of a van that was moving. And her hands were tied. It looked bad. She remember, then, how they took her. It was ridiculous. She'd only been out for two minutes getting some fresh air, then she'd have gone right back into the house, the party of her best friend. She'd taken a walk. Two minutes. If the situation wasn't so bad, she'd have laughed. She didn't. She did, though, look around. There were some boxes, cart board boxes. On her elbows, she edged closer (very slowly, her arms were tied strongly) to the closet. In the dim light that entered through the crack under the van's back door, she examined the box.

It was closed and there was a lot of ducked tape on it. There was no use trying to open it. She sat back and leaned against the box. Shit, she thought. Shit, shit, shit. Now that her head wasn't occupied anymore, she had to think. Thinking could be a good thing, but in Vicky's place it was very bad. She thought about her situation. Ok, I'm kidnapped, all alone in a van that is going somewhere. So we're arriving somewhere. So there is a purpose to this all. But what do they want from me? Shit, I'm not even that pretty.

In that case, though, she was slightly wrong. She was pretty, if you took a second look. Her hair was blond, her eyes were blue and she had the most beautiful smile. She was a bit chubby and this is why she thought herself as not so pretty. But back to the story.

Her thoughts repeated themselves and she began to be frightened. Frightened of what might happen. What would they do to her? A young, well, not so pretty, 17 year-old girl. Her mind went blank. If someone had seen her at that moment, he'd have seen her eyes grow big and her jaw fall open. No, not me, she told herself.

At this point, before she could pursue her thought, the van stopped and shortly after Vicky's heart too. Though only for a few seconds. Then it started to batter. Her breath grew fast and she started to sweat. Crawling backwards, her thoughts turned over themselves. They are coming for me, they'll do horrible things to me, they'll rape me or kill me or torture me or lock me up to get crazy.

The door opened. The sudden light blended her so she closed her eyes. She tried to slightly open then and saw a man climbing into the vehicle.

“Please...”, she begged weakly.

“Sorry miss”, the man said, though rather emotionless than full of sadistic joy, as she'd awaited.
The man took a glove out of his pocket, knelt down to her and put it on her eyes. He made a knot (r two) behind her head. Then she was blind. Just before the light went out for her, she'd seen the man's arm as he bent closer. Or maybe she should say his muscles.
She felt him taking her into his arms, quite gently.
She tried to follow where they were going, but taking into mind that she didn't know where they were, it was quite impossible. After they'd left the van behind, she only knew that they'd entered a building.

She heard several other men (she assumed) behind her, their heavy footsteps only a few steps behind. She didn't say a word. She was too scared to even move, although her arms had fallen asleep and her legs were just doing so.

Then they stopped.

“That's her?” A man's voice. Hard. Icy.

“Yes, sir”, her carrier said. She could feel his chest vibrate has he spoke.

“Well, we'll have time to check her out later. Bring her to the others.”

At that moment, Vicky was happy that she couldn't see anything, because that meant that they couldn't see her eyes either. Those eyes, right then, were big as plates. Others?
But then they started again and almost immediately stopped again. She heard a lock opening and then the door followed. A few steps forward and she was let down. Then pushed, lightly, but still enough for her to fall. He seems like he's sorry or something, she noted, but then she registered the pain of her knees and arms.

She groaned.

“Are you alright?” A boy's voice. She could feel someone, probably the owner of the voice, try to open the knots of her eye mask. After a short moment he'd finished and freed her eyes. But nothing changed.

“It's so dark here”, she said while turning around on her bum so that she could examine her knees.

“Yes, it's always dark. Always. I'm sorry, are you alright?”

“My knees”, Vicky said. Her fellow prisoner's hands touched her knees, first lightly, then more confident.

“I don't think it's too bad, just a bit of blood, that all.”

“Well, at least my pants aren't torn.”

“What?” The voice was confused.

“Just kidding, I'm not wearing pants.”

“You aren't...?!?”

“Hey, calm down, it's a skirt.”

“Oh. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay, I wouldn't expect anyone to be humorous in this place. I'm Vicky, by the way.”

“Yoseob, nice to meet you.”

Yoseob?,she thought.

“Yoseob?”, she said.


“Where are you from, Yoseob?”

“Korea. That's where we are.”

Shit, she thought again.

“We're not in Canada?”

“No, if that's where you're from. I'm sorry.”

Korea. They’d flown her over the pacific ocean without her knowing. Suddenly, she was scared, so scared she could hardly breath.

“Are you alright?”, Yoseob asked.

“I'm... no... not alright...”

“Oh, I'm sorry.”

He sounded sorry, for whatever reason.

“Shit”, she said, calming down a bit.

“What please?”

“Shit, I said. Shit, trey kidnapped me, shit they flew me over the darn Pacific while I was in dreamland and a big Shit for being imprisoned in a black cell by some guys who want something from me that I'm afraid to know.”
She'd become loud, but when she'd ended she felt sorry. The poor boy wasn't at fault.

“I'm sorry” Yoseob said again.

“Oh no, I'm sorry, you're not at fault! You're here like me!”

“No, I'm really sorry. The first time is the worst, when you have no idea why you're here, where you are and what is going to happen to you.”


Silence fell and spread around the two like a fog that you couldn't see through.
Vicky didn't know what to say. She wanted to ask so many questions, but she didn't dare to. She was more scared of the truth.

Movement from Yoseob's direction made her aware of her surroundings again.
She felt a touch on her hand and wanted to pull it back, when she noticed that he only wanted to free her. She let him do and after a few minutes she was able to move both her arms freely.

“Come here to the wall, you can lean on it.”

He helped her up and led her to the wall. Slowly, the sat down. The leaning helped, a bit.
They didn't say anything.

“I wish I was at home”, Vicky said.

“I wished for that too. Now I don't anymore.”

“Why? Do you want to stay here?”

“No.” He stopped, then:

“I want to die.”

chunnie yoochun
I feel so imprisoned in my life.
Everyone is expecting me to be tis or that way, but what about me?
What if  dont want that?
What if  want to be someone else?
I want to break out from all of this, get myself and run away.
But  I guess Im too much a coward to do that.
Its not that I dont want to do these things at all, its just that sometimes I just want to let go and chill out.
No pressure and n responsibility.
Maybe Ill be able to do that, in the future!

Its raining
chunnie yoochun
 And its making me feel odd.
I want to do so much but am still doing nothing.
So much is happening for me, changes are emerging and I am still doing nothing.

I am confused and waiting for the right person but I know I'll have to wait a long time.
maybe I should.... I dont know.
My heads empty.

Its going fine, my life.
From the outside perfectly like it should be.
God in school, sports, friends.
The insedes corrupted. 
I feel lonely and my hearts feeling nothing.

I dont feel human.
What that? I cant describe it.
It doesnt even ache anymore.
Why? Why? Why?
I hate it!

On a spring day
chunnie yoochun
Everything looks better than before.

If its just the wather or if its me - I dont know.

But I found by Anne books again and gnna read them again.

My little dreamworld.

Life's exhausting but it offers recreation in plenty.

I'm sick right now, having a cold but the doc th me some meds and its gonna be alright.
My immun system is superb. I think.

Gotta continue now living my life.

Reality continues to ruin my life
chunnie yoochun
Yeah, first time I right in here, like, honestly.
Not in a good mood.

ALways when I think I did it all I end up getting new problems. This and this needs to get done and I dont want to.
I want it to stop. I'm scared I want do this one.

Its easier writing here. No one knows me and no one reads this.

Still there is a thing that keeps me up: My beloved boys.

I push these things away from me until I am ready to face them and the ones that helped me are my Dong Bang boys.

No one can help me get back on my feet like them.

And the dont even now it.

When suddenly your life changes its hard to comprehend.
For me.
After all, my life has gone the normal way up till now.
I dont want that to change.
I dont.

Maybe I'll right here again soon.
Maybe I wont.

Its all up to having the time and wanting to so it.

If you read this, I'm sorry to have taken your time.

In the end,
I will always keep the faith!

chunnie yoochun
Woah, I really did forget I had this LJ O.O
Gettin' old, xD

Win WIn WIn
chunnie yoochun

Whoohoo! I make a chance to win this cd!

Would you also like to try to win this cd?
Check out this post @ kpop_groups

chunnie yoochun
Wednesday at school: Animals stolen. Some thieves have broken in and stolen some fish and 2 snakes. Didn't take the laptop....

Theory is, that animals at school aren't treated as well as they should. So they martyried (or so...) and broke the law for the animals sake! *sigh* ^^

Well, we 'were allowed' to carry the broken things into the cellar -.-

Well, have a nice Sun-day ;-)

All New
chunnie yoochun
So, I'm finally here, LiveJournal!
I think I'm going to like it here :-)
I don't have much to say yet, I'm still looking around.
So if you have anything.....


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